Sunday, March 23, 2008

Bok, Bok, E-Bunny.

It's Easter and we ate too much! Easter is one of those holidays I always looked forward to as a kid. I got to dress up, the weather was just starting to break, I got new clothes, and I was shuttled to church with a healthy sugar buzz. I will, however, (I know, it's hard to believe that I might indeed throw some cynicism in here) think that the actual meaning of Easter gets a little overshadowed by our giant, creepy, poofy-tailed friend who hops into the living room and leaves a basket of fake grass and goodies. Not to mention (spoiler alert!!), the aforementioned friend was the one who tipped me off to the fact there was no Santa Clause. My over-developed sense of childhood logic and my grandmother's unwillingness to lie to me following direct questions, conspired to lift the ever delicate veneer of magical holiday heroes from my eyes, wrecking my carefully constructed belief in sleighs full of magical reindeer, giant rodents kicking off my spring with milk chocolate, and tiny fairies airlifting giant bags of quarters all over the world, monetarily rewarding the loss of baby teeth. My tiny brain thought "giant bunny? in my house? bringing candy? no way. what else could be a giant lie?". And thus began a new era of less magical holidays. Being around a 4-year old that still buys the magic, however, has added a new dimension of fun to the whole thing that I've been lacking for several years. It's cool to see him get excited, and allows me to vicariously feel a bit of that excitement again. And, there's always ham. Ham is exciting.

Wedding planning. I am feeling a tremendous amount of guilt over wedding planning. Contrary to popular belief (and the fact that it is literally a part of my job title) I am not much of a planner. So far, we have been about as successful at planning our wedding as Coach Rodriguez was at tactfully making a lateral job move. We looked at one venue: too expensive. We placed another venue in our sights: they would never call us back, lost their chef, and put the whole place up for sale. So, we are on the venue hunt again. Meg found a dress she really, really liked, then second-guessed it due to price, and now is looking again. I have, admittedly, not been very helpful in my suggestions: "We'll get the dress anyway!": shot down. "How about kilts?!?": shot down. "Man, a nacho bar would be cool!": as of this writing, being contemplated with a potentially positive result. I honestly would marry the woman in a tool shed if she were wearing manure-covered overalls (and in a rare moment of politcal correctness, I will apologize in advance to anyone belonging to a culture who believes in poop-covered matrimony), but in the end I want her to be happy. I view our wedding as an "us" moment, but a "her" time to shine. And a potential "nacho time" for all involved.

That's all I've got for now. Happy Easter!!

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Taxation Without Representation

Good morning! I write to you from the hustling, bustling District you know as your Nation's Capital. I am literally right down the street from the Capitol Building and just about two blocks over from Union Station. As I sip my $5.00 coffee and toss the wrapper from my $4.50 cheese danish, I can't help but wonder what the week holds for me. I haven't been in DC since I was in high school, and while I tend to find a trip to the city...any city...refreshing and invigorating, the timing was just off on this one and I'm not feeling much of either.

If anyone knows me a lick, they know I don't particularly enjoy the hobbing and knobbing that goes with my job. I regard it, at best, as a necessary evil, and at worst, a complete waste of time. Like my Dad always says to me when I go to one of these things "You're certainly among them, aren't you, buddy?". And yes, I am among them. Especially this trip, as my entire day tomorrow will be spent lurking through the halls of the Congress, meeting with the staffs of Senators and Congressmen and Congresswomen (Congresspeople??), explaining our issues, our challenges, what we do, etc. as they smile blankly and act interested.

Working for an organization whose primary sources of funding start at the Federal levels makes it simply a matter of practical necessity that I deal with bureaucracy on several levels...local, state, federal. And while I do indeed like meeting all sorts of people, the more I engage these different levels, the more I lose faith regarding how our country, state, and localities work. Doesn't leave me with feelings of warm, fuzzy hope for the future.

Normally, I would simply be invigorated by being in the city. Hopping cabs from one cool shop, restaurant, and site to another. But this trip, I just want to get it done and get back home. Too much going on in my personal and work life at home to be able to relax and enjoy my $5 coffee and my $28 appetizer-sized salad and crabcake. My only saving grace this trip is a Starbucks in the lobby, and two cool, rustic Irish pubs right next to each other around the corner with good food and Guinness on tap. I'm also close to Union Station, which is really cool, beautiful, has a lot of neat shops and allows me to sit and people watch.

Somebody important was here this morning because as I walked outside to fetch a paper, there was a cop car and a very serious Police SUV sandwiching a very serious black Cadillac with a driver in front of the hotel. Not sure who it was. Maybe Hillary was coming to visit me and I wasn't available. Maybe Obama ran up to my room and I was outside reading the post. Maybe McCain wanted to chat with me before he ran over to the White House for lunch. If so, sorry guys. I was getting a paper and my $5 coffee.

On a high note, I have had the opportunity to listen to Michael Beschloss speak. He is an author and a Presidential historian and I used to watch him on Imus in the Morning quite regularly on MSNBC before it was cancelled. He was funny, and interesting, and so far it's made my trip.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Carry on, my wayward son...

What a week. A week to end all weeks. Kole finally caught the cold crud that we were hoping he would avoid, but he's better now. That being said, he has decided to go on a rampage of bad behavior that makes King Kong look like Snuggles. In the course of a week, Megan and I have experienced a degree of defiance and craziness from him that neither one of us have seen before. He has knocked his tv off its stand, knocked his lamp over, consumed marbles (which is amazing..Kole won't even eat sloppy joes or anything with gravy on it) and the coup de grace: climbed up his chest of drawers, toppling his turtle tank and the ant farm sitting next to it. By The Grace of God, he was not seriously harmed (minor cuts on his fingers), but Megan and I were needless to say, a bit rattled after plucking him out of a pile of shattered glass, turtle-tainted water, gravel, and drowning ants. Teeny Tiny Tim (The turtle formally known as Kole's) did indeed survive the ordeal, but has been whisked away to an undisclosed location (Nana's House) to convalesce and recover from post-traumatic stress disorder before being enrolled into the second grade at Blackshere Elementary School in Mannington. God Speed, Tiny Tim. Be cool and stay in school. Study hard and make us proud.

Now, I'm putting a somewhat humorous spin on a series of events that have left us stressed, exhausted, praying, thankful (that Kole wasn't injured more severely) and in tears (not necessarily in that order). Since then, our lives have been filled with two hour, screaming and crying "time outs", behavior progression charts "now, you get a smiley sticker for going to bed and a frowny face if you whine" and Kole's room has been cleared of all...well, everything...except books and a bed. It is lock-down at Windridge Manor, and we're trying to progress with wisdom, consistency, and patience.

Megan and I, being two very distinct personalities save for our unending stubbornness, have ironically dealt with this situation with much the same kind of emotion and reaction. Nothing makes you feel like more of a failure than your misbehaving child. I feel horrible, because I am the newest addition to the scene, and thus feel a great deal of responsibility, while she feels horrible because she's always been on the scene and can't figure out where this is coming from. But, we keep communicating about it and personal feelings aside, this truly isn't about us. This is about Kole. I want nothing more for him than for him to grow into a decent, caring, Christian man. A better man than I have ever or could ever be. I long for him to have the kind of love and guidance Megan and I had as kids, and far richer life experience than either one of us have ever had. I hope that with love, time, and prayer, we can get where we need to be. But right now, it feels like we're crawling through a marathon (if you haven't gotten the hint yet, please feel free to send some prayers our way). But we are trudging through, ever the stubborn trio of misfits.

Out of all of this, however, have sprung some good things for me. Some "silver linings" per se. I first will say publicly, that Megan is an amazing woman and wonderful mother. I would have never had the strength, selflessness, and presence of mind to have done as good a job raising Kole as she's done up to this point on her own. I think it's a testament to her character, her strength, and her sheer will that she hasn't mentally crumbled before now. She is a guide to me in how I should parent, and a constant supporter of my place in this situation. I waited a very long time to get married (I am a fresh, precocious 34), and it is precisely for this reason: I have waited my entire life to marry a woman like Megan. She was well worth the long trek of crappy, confusing relationships and more than worth the wait. My love has waited a long time for a place to land, and it couldn't have landed in a finer spot than Ms. Haugh.

I have responded to the stress of the week's events in an extremely forward-thinking manner that befits my advanced age: I spent a bunch of money. We are now officially owners of an X-Box 360, and 4 games: Call of Duty 4, Modern Warfare (mine), Cars, Maternational (Koleman's), Sonic the Hedgehog, and American Idol (Both Megan's). We're not obsessed yet, but it's giving us something we can do as a family during bad weather that's a little different. I went looking for a Wii (and still want one) but got the X-Box 360 anyway. To balance out the laziness of sitting on the couch and executing precise, military, special operations missions all over the virtual globe, I have also order the workout package P90X. I used to work out pretty vigorously via running and weights, but life, love, and work have conspired to make me more sedentary than I've been in some time. I was not blessed with the genes of Megan's family in that I cannot eat all the time and still remain trim, so lest I turn into "Oh, look at Megan's new husband..he's so cute...he's like a little bowling ball with a beard!", I need to take matters into my own hands and start up again. The premise behind P90X is "muscle confusion". Lots of different routines that keep your muscles shocked and your brain from being bored. The success stories I've seen have been very impressive, so we'll see. I'm not afraid to work out hard, and never have been, and I hope this is a routine I can stick to. Perhaps I'll take some "before" and "after" pictures. We need some new photos for this year's Christmas card anyway.

Over and out....

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

It's Alive!!!

We have been sick. Incredibly sick. First, Megan was really sick and then I got it. Kole is the only one who's been spared (knock on wood). I feel like I've awaken from some sort of zombiesque nightmare after almost a week of total sickness. Megan was really, really bad for several days. To the point I was getting really concerned; dark spots under her eyes, horrible fever, she just lay on the couch feeling miserable. Then, wham! I got it as well. Monday was the first day I haven't had a fever in almost a week, and Tuesday was the first day I actually felt somewhat normal. We are all much healthier now, and a lot less cranky. But it's been like some sort of exile. We haven't seen our friends, parents.....anyone in probably over two weeks. That's depressing. And a bit maddening. And poor Kole...he's been BORED. I don't blame him. Watching us sweat and drink Gatorade between shots of NyQuil couldn't have been very exciting. I made some passable chicken noodle soup in the midst of it all, though. And it healed us. With its magic carrots.


We are addicted to HGTV. We are addicted to house-flipping shows, property virgin shows, that "sleep on it" sleep overnight-in-the-house you're going to-buy show, that "redesign to sell" show. I now can match throw pillows with drapes and understand what sort of tile and countertops sell the best and hold anti-microbial properties. I am hoping all this knowledge will be helpful as we start our house hunt within the year. I can't wait! It will be awesome to have a space of our own. It will be awesome to go home to anything that isn't my cramped house or Megan's cramped apartment. It will be awesome for Kole to have a yard to play in. It will be awesome to have a fire pit for outside campfires. It will be awesome to have Megan, Kole, my cats, and all my stuff located in one convenient space that is ours. I am also looking forward to the tactical handgun range my friends, my future brother-in-law, and I will construct in our backyard just adjacent to the firepit (hoping to slip this one in without Megan seeing it).

Happy Valentine's Day! This is the first of many for Megan and I and we all exchanged gifts last night. Kole got his Mom a huge card and a candle, and I got her a card, made her a Mind Map, and am taking her on a fancy date. Kole got a Diego card, a dinosaur puzzle, and a whole box of powdered donuts (Kole holds the sort of regard for small, powdered donuts that most of us reserve for religious icons, celebrities, or sports heroes). Megan got me a card and made an awesome frame with pictures of her and I in it. I even liked all the pictures. My head didn't look overly pumpkin-like in any of them.

Naturally, being sick made time for the viewing of several movies. Since Megan and I watched most of them together, I tended to err on the side of picking out the sort of movies she would like. "The Heartbreak Kid" was pretty funny and we enjoyed "Stardust". I did happen to slip in "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" while I was sick at home and Megan was at school. It was interesting, but very bleak. I don't recommend watching it while you have a fever. Not a very action-packed Western, either. But excellent acting by Brad Pitt.

I am echoing Zach Haugh's latest blog mention regarding the weather. I am officially sick of this weather. I used to love winter, especially when I was a kid. It was so much fun, so beautiful. But lately, it's done nothing but get on my nerves. The cold, the wind, the ice. I think I'm just getting old. I find no joy in 5 degree wind traveling 45 mph into my face, beard or no beard.

That's all I have for now, kids...

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Take this job and love it...

Another crazy week on Brown/Haugh world. Megan's student teaching is soon in full swing, and I'm living on coffee and working early/late a lot. NOT looking forward to a week spent in Charleston pandering to legislators, then the Feds, then legislators again, only to rush back so Megan can get to Zumba class on Thursday and prep for the Grant Class I'm teaching at WVU Friday morning. But such is our life, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Kole Greyson never ceases to amaze me. The parenting thing, for me (and I imagine for most people), is a constant act of self-doubting and second guessing. Am I being too hard on him? Too soft? Is he picking up my bad habits and ill manners? Is it necessarily good to request from a child that he, at some point, scream "China!" in some place in Arkansas, just because I want him too? I have spent a life of saying what I want, doing what I want (for the most part), and acting generally as crazy and idiotic as I pleased. Now, the consequences are always there...waiting to bite me in the butt. His mother neither appreciates it, nor finds it cute when she takes him to a store and he makes "asian" eyes at passers-by screaming "pingy pang chang chaw!!" and I don't blame her. That's embarrassing, fairly racist, and generally not nice. And I am 110% to blame. But it's these sorts of things that require us to make choices: While something may make he and I laugh so hard we squirt juice out our noses when we do it at home, it may not be the best activity for public consumption. On the other hand, maybe I feel the world is too overly-sensitive and I am subconsciously sending him out into the world, with four-year old immunity, to grate against the societal "norms". Like my personal little ambassador with diplomatic immunity. But that, most likely, is probably all BS. Probably more to the point is the fact that I am still learning, always learning, what being a parent means. It is easily the most difficult job I've ever had. I lead people, I make decisions, I deal with millions of dollars, but daily being part of a two-person unit trying to turn a tiny person into a good human being is far more difficult. I am lucky, however, in that I had great parents who gave me a good template to apply to parenthood. I am still often scared to death about what kind of "father" I am being, but at least I have the benefit of being given the kind of guidance that, at the time, I didn't respect very much, but now, is easily the greatest gift my parents ever gave me.

I love movies. I love the story arcs (3:10 to Yuma), I love the visuals (Lord of the Rings), I love when they make me think (No Country For Old Men), and I love when they allow me to not think at all (Predator). Nothing in this world beats the first time I watched "Open Range" and in the intial gun fight, Kevin Costner's character just walks up to the one "real killer" in the line of men facing him and pegs him squarely in the head. I love it when movies, good movies, shock me for that split second. Nothing beats TRULY being surprised by a movie on that first viewing (Fight Club, The Usual Suspects). And few things are more gratifying when a movie makes you feel like "wow, they really captured my viewpoint on life a little, or at least what I wished my viewpoint was.."(Happy Feet...just kidding....Braveheart).

Kole Greyson Haughis officially a Daft Punk fan. Kole loves robots and he loves louder, repetitive music, so a band made up of two guys who pretend to be robots and play loud, repetitive electronica are very much up his alley. They're also about the only good thing coming out of France at the moment, other than cheese. Come, enjoy one of Kole's favorite videos,Robot Rock:

Sunday, January 20, 2008

And Sunday Mornin' Coming Down...

I have, interestingly enough, been asked by a couple people what I think of the current writer's strike in the entertainment industry. Being a writer by trade, albeit a writer of a very different ilk, I have been fascinated for some time with movie/tv/entertainment writing (as evidenced by the two of the blogs I frequent on the right) and have even made a couple half-baked forays into that world myself. That being said, my opinion is that, as a writer, you almost always have a sense of doing your best for the benefit of others. In that I mean, every piece of writing you accomplish is an exercise (if you're doing it correctly)in hard work, professionalism, and giving a little bit of yourself. Even if you consider yourself a "hired gun", which as a grant writer I often do, it is very difficult to trick yourself into believing that there's not a little piece of you in everything you write. So, from that standpoint, to be a good writer I think you need to "own" what you write. I think we tend to, as a public, enjoy television, reality shows, movies, etc. without really considering all the hard work and effort that goes into that Grey's Anatomy episode we can't wait to watch. The writers want a little of the residual dough from their work to carry them through the often-common lengths of unemployment they tend to suffer. It's simply the nature of the job and I don't find that to be unreasonable. If you'd like to educate yourself on some of the basic issues surrounding the strike, check out good ol' wikipedia for the scoop. Also, check out the screen writer's blogs I frequent or take a look at any of the thousands of others out there.

I so excited for the Iron Man movie to come out! I am a complete geek, and a borderline fanboy, and I've been through my share of issues of Amazing Spiderman, Punisher War Journal, and Wetworks (an Image Comics oldie, but goodie). Iron Man has a special place in my heart, though. You can't beat a flawed-hero, alcoholic, genius, millionaire inventor who makes a metal suit to a. escape captivity and b. continue to kick butt. I love the trailer. I hope the movie does the character justice. With Jon Favreau at the helm, I think it will.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Waiting on the "Time Machine"

How can I possibly fit all the exciting activities of the last four days into some sort of digestible literary format? Who knows? Let's find out.

As I write this, I sit at Megan's apartment waiting for the crack installation crew from Sears to deliver her new (well, soon enough it will be "our new") washing machine. They are going to be here between 9:45 and 11:45. It is currently 11:51. Go Sears. Kole is insistent that the are coming to deliver a "time machine" and we have corrected him repeatedly. I'm almost wishing it will be a time machine, so I can go back a few days and tell Sears they suck beforehand.

Work has been crazy. Crazy for a lot of reasons. Crazy because I have agreed to take on more tasks, but also crazy because I have so many now it is a struggle to complete them all in the time allotted and still maintain any semblance of a normal "home/outside life". I am tethered to my vocation by laptops, cell phones, deadlines, and my own erratic sense of perfectionism. It's been stressful. I have not been a pleasant person to be around, and its the ones I love the most who seem to bear the brunt of my ill manners. I have never been the kind of person who likes to"live" his job; it was always sort of a means to an end for me. I'm still not that kind of person. But the need to produce quality work and do more, better, faster is a constant struggle for me. Alas, until I get a few things pushed over into the "done" column, I have to settle for doing a lot of things "okay" versus a few things fantastically.

To compound things, I have this inner ear thing going on since yesterday. This is a particular, bizarre ailment that I unfortunately inherited from my Mom. Basically, it is fluid in the ears that tricks your brain into thinking that you're off balance all the time. Your equilibrium goes haywire, you are dizzy, nauseous, and it can make you feel very panicked. Think "the spins" when you're drunk but without being drunk. Just a walking Weeble that may indeed fall down at any moment.

Megan's parents gave me an awesome book for Christmas, and I've been tearing through it whenever I have free time. I'm about halfway through it and it's very cool. Called "Wild At Heart" it basically a study in the poor job the world, the church, and our peers have done in really helping men become more rooted in who they are. There is a series of books from this couple's ministry called "Ransomed Heart Ministries". I've found their work to be interesting, uplifting, and worth the read.

I have weekend work to accomplish. I have a birthday party to attend. I have Mexican food to consume. I have tread milling to do. I have officially sworn off the Creative line of products. I'm feeling nauseous.